Tag: humor

Oh, We're At Your House

Nick Momrik2 Comments

Last night was a good time. This weekend is Greek Festival here in Saginaw, which always attracts a crowd. I think it might have something to do with the beer tents. 😉 James and I met up with some friends and it was “bottoms up” the rest of the night. The tent closes at 11:00 PM (way too early) so James and I headed downtown to the bars, hoping to meet up with a girl he’s been talking to.

First we checked out the bar they had claimed to be going to when they left the tent an hour earlier. No luck. James finally got ahold of her and we headed over to another bar. Wait in line. Once we finally get inside, she sees us and they are on their way home. Women! You just can’t win!

We made our way back to my house at around 1 AM. I grabbed a glass of water, but James insisted on having a beer. After several minutes in front of the TV, I noticed he was drifting off to sleep. “Hey James,” I said. His head pops up. “Oh, we’re back at your house already?” Wow! It’s probably a good thing we didn’t stay at the bars any longer. I had a pretty good headache when I woke up, but I’m feeling better already. Good times…

May Contain Peanuts

Nick Momrik8 Comments

PeanutsHave you ever looked at the wrapper of a Snickers bar or another candybar? They usually say “May contain peanuts” for whatever reason. Well, it looks like the airlines have taken it a step further with the little bags of peanuts that they give out on flights. Look at the last line of text in the image: “Produced in a facility that processes peanuts and other nuts.” Seriously…where would you expect a bag of peanuts to be produced? In a toilet paper factory?


The Butt Slices

Nick Momrik3 Comments

What did the butt of the bread ever do to you? Sure, it moons you each time you open the bag to take a few slices, but does it really have a choice? Unfortunately with each loaf of bread, two slices always get shafted as the outcasts of the group. Should they be outcasts simply because they are unique? It doesn’t make it any better when everyone who reaches into the bag moves the butt out of the way for a “real” slice of bread. Maybe we should feel a little more sympathetic and choose the butt first! That’s what I did this morning when I opened a fresh bag of bread. Guess what…I just ate my sandwich for lunch with the “butt slice” and it tasted just like any other sandwich. So next time you go for a piece of bread, think of how you might feel if you were picked last all the time.

Disclaimer: One butt slice of bread was harmed consumed while writing this post.

Sock It To Me

Nick MomrikLeave a comment

Have you ever been so tired in the morning that you pulled the wrong color of socks out of your drawer and put them on? Well, that was me today. I didn’t realize until about 2 hours through work that I had blue socks on with black shoes and pants. I had to chuckle to myself, but at least no one noticed. Or at least no one said anything if they did notice. I came home for lunch and had a chance to change them, so it’s like it never happened. 😆

Wal-Mart Stalker

Nick Momrik6 Comments

I don’t think I ever mentioned it before, but I also have a stalker at Wal-Mart! And…I saw him there today, which was kind of weird after what happened online last night.

A few months ago Heather and I were doing some shopping at Wal-Mart. I was going down one of the aisles by myself when some guy, maybe slightly younger than me, stopped and claimed to know me from somewhere. He then asked me where I work and some other stuff I can’t remember. I started walking away as soon as possible. I met up with Heather in another aisle and we continued to show all over the store for different things we were looking for. Well…this guy followed us and we saw him probably like 10 times in completely different/odd places of the store where it could not just have been a coincidence.

Today I was picking up some cleaning supplies and things for my new place and as I walked down an aisle I noticed him right away. He said, “Hi.” I said it back and kept going. I heard him from behind me say something like, “Hey, aren’t you from…” I didn’t turn around. What a weirdo. As soon as he was out of sight I called Heather to tell her and we both had a good laugh.

My Sister…My Wife?

Nick Momrik6 Comments

Yesterday while I was shopping for dress pants and shirts, the lady in the store called Heather my wife. We’re pretty used to it by now, but it’s always good for a quick laugh. I’m not even sure if I could count how many times it has happened. Maybe people think that because we are roughly the same age and get along so well. Come on though, all you have to do is look at us and you can tell we are related!

It happened last year too when we were shopping for a washer and dryer for our apartment. The lady asked if we had a little kid, because of the buzzer on the washer. I guess some people don’t want to wake up their babies. That time was probably the funniest because we then told the lady that we were brother and sister. I love making someone feel like a jackass!

American Wedding

Nick Momrik3 Comments

American Wedding (Widescreen Extended Unrated Party Edition)Earlier tonight I watched American Wedding, which followed behind the first two American Pie movies. It was great and I’d definitely recommend it. I bought the unrated version of the DVD, but couldn’t tell you what was added because this was the first time I had seen the movie.

The bachelor party scene was pretty good…a lot of tits and ass. The chicks they use for the nudity scenes get better and better with each movie. There are plenty of scenes for a laugh and there was a good plot to the movie. I would have liked to see more of the girls in this one from the first two movies, since all the guys were back.

If you saw the first two movies, this is a must see. I wonder if they have a 4th movie planned.